Hares: Cumalot/Heavy Pants. And Pilchard!
RUN Report #949
Cumalot had convoked us to a COVID compliant hash starting in the St Philippe casino carpark at what3words primary.shelf.waffled – we could have been a couple of metres away at screeches.tomcat.warblers which might have been more interesting. It was a huge carpark where I found Philippe looking lonely but he said it was the right place. Eventually we were joined by others returning from positioning the beer car. A cold overcast morning (but of course it never rains on the hash), we were 9 and so complied with the 10 person group limit- we waited a bit for Buns who had registered but had not arrived in time and then decided to start, leaving the hares to lay extra flour for her to follow in case she turned up.
The runners set off- 2 hares and Supermarket Trolley. The rest of us walkers went with Cumalot onto the bus/tram road. The French postmodernist thinkers in the administration have declared the new bus/tram to be a tram, so it’s a tram, but in fact it is just a bus. Has anyone used it? Does it have any features of a tram such a bells and musical jungles? Well we didn’t see it although Cumalot said there was a frequent service.
After 5 minutes FartyBum announced that she would not be getting Shit of the Week this time – then decided to check if she had the keys for the beer car- she searched through her bag a couple of times then remembered she had left them in her other bag which she had left in Supermarket Trolley’s car. No point in going back as SMT would be miles away on the runners’ trail-so we just went on knowing there would be no beer and that the runners wouldn’t know that.
The terrain was very up and down taking us to a stream which must join up with La Brague and here was a tricky set of stepping stones helped by an old pallet in the middle of the stream- I think we all managed to cross without incident. The rain was holding off and the tracks were not too muddy but potentially dodgy on the slippery paths with rocky traps and nasty drops on the side.
Soon we reached the beercar- but no key/no beer. There is supposed to be a spare key hidden somewhere, but FartyBum didn’t remember where (we have had this problem before – we must ask Mad Max to show someone where it is). So we just waited for the runners to arrive- quite a long time- Cumalot said the walkers went too fast and that the runners had a long trail 7.7km checking out all the falsies as the hares couldn’t remember what the correct trail was.
Of course there were stories about placing the beer car. The marked parking places had been full so FB had decided to park on the grass; however, due to the mud, the wheels just spun around-FB couldn’t cope so Pilchard had volunteered to take over the driving and find a better place and in order to manoeuvre asked FB where was reverse on the gear stick- FB said she didn’t know whether it was up or down, in or out or push or pull. Pilchard using tank driving experience managed to move the car to a better position.
Back at the start the beers soon arrived as well as crisps and peanuts Cumalot was offering doughnuts. A short circle was held.
After the beerstop the journey home was announced as being fairly short. SMT and FartyBum set off early to rescue the car keys and the beercar. The rest of us strolled back past a housing development with the appalling name of….
Biotifull!!!!
Down downs for
The hares– Cumalot, Heavy Pants and Pilchard (now the perpetual co-hare)
Farty Bum– for forgetting how to drive in reverse.
Philippe in honour of the start at St Philippe
Heavy Pants for forgetting where the right trail was at the check
Pilchard– for fouling the trail
Shit of the week nominations for- Prestressed ( Heavy Pants as stand-in) for proposing Cumalot as Hare and not turning up
And we voted for FartyBum for the obvious offence.
Due to COVID the weather wasn’t right for continuing with a picnic so we went home to meet up later in the day on a Zoom hash.
OnOn!
The Scribe
