Walkers Report #963 – FartyBum Pulls the Wool Over Our Eyes in Cagnes

Hares: Farty Bum

Another exquisite day of sun to visit another exquisite area on the Côté d’azur! Farty Bum, the Hash (everything), graciously offered to hare at the last minute as SMT had difficulty getting someone to do this earlier.

Cleverly, she chose to set this run close to her home, but after partially setting her woollen run, she discovered that our hash coincided with the Nice Marathon! With many cautious warning about potential traffic, parking problems, and the fear that the hash runners might be mistaken for the marathoners, we settled on a fairly late start, and encountered no problems!

We started by greeting Confusion’s two invitees, and were then educated about Farty Bum’s woollen markings. Having studiously listened to our instructions, off went the runners winding our way through the town streets. We ran along a little riverside for a while, and then the easy running was over.

We suddenly headed up, up up, into the old village of Haut Cagnes. Jobsworth and Malcolm were charging ahead uphill, but Buns, craftily used the excuse of a view stop to take photos to help all the Hashers catch their collective breaths. The front runners were called back to have their photos taken and we all enjoyed the views and the break from the pull of gravity.

After this brief halt, we were then directed by Cumalot to an interesting home with a creative bent. We observed many rustic and amusing sculptures,

but Cumalot was more interested in having us observe the name of the house. We studied the apparently African seeming name, trying to understand it’s meaning. Approximately it was Wairda Fakarwi I’ll tell you the English translation – Where the fuck are we!

Note the house name!

We carried on up hill happily following our pink wool markings and eventually wove our way up through the pretty winding streets of Haut Cagnes. At the very top we again took advantage of the the wonderful views from the old square to take some more photos.

After a welcome break, we trotted back downhill with visions of a nearby beer check in our minds. We easily followed the pink woollen markings back to the area we had already passed. No problem, we thought. Farty Bum had already warned us that we would cross the trail previously run, and we were to continue straight on. After numerous failures, we eventually gave up and called FB to get us back on track. Apparently we had run a good portion of the run backwards, and once straightened out, we were again envisioning a nearby beer check. Ha! Not to be, we ran and ran and ran through the streets trusting in Cumalot’s supposed knowledge of the area to guide us to the Beer Check. (We harassed poor FB into giving us her run map in order to ensure we knew where to find the Beer!)

A joyous arrival at the beer check soon turned sour when we realized the car containing the beer and treats was locked, and no one had the key.

No worries, we had a bit of sunshine, so we sat on the curb, and awaited the walkers and our hare.

FB arrived after a brief interval, and we quickly snatched the key from her and gobbled down the beer, chips and peanuts. Not long after the walkers started to straggle in, and we exchanged notes about our tour of the area.

Although a lovely sunny day, the wind had picked up, and we had all cooled down, so the runners were keen to get going.

Lazy Smelly Pooh and Buns chose to walk a direct route to the parking lot and circle. They arrived shortly after our hare in her car, and we soon were reunited with our fellow runners. Apparently they too took a bit of a short cut, but did enjoy the sea views, as they ran along the waterfront.

Eventually the walkers straggled in, and we circled up to review the events and misdeeds which occurred during the walk/run.

Cumalot got a down down for exhausting some female Hashers the night before, not to say anything about the Spanish male bartender!?

Buns was given a down down for recruiting a potential new youngish female future hasher. We encountered her just as she was trying to drag a Christmas tree into her home which she told us had just been bought from Lidl. Luckily for her Pilchard explained that the only way someone could enter our very exclusive club was to have purchased a tree from Lidl!

We had a first at our hash!

A non-human was the shit of the week! Coke Hound, nominated by her hash mum, was punished for almost taking out poor unamed Malcolm with a tripping hazard caused by her leash. Bad Girl! Silly Hashers asked who would take the down down for her, and she proved herself to be a proper Hasher.

Coke Hound AKA Smudge taking her down down for Hash Shit of the week!

Getting cold and hungry the crowd dispersed and headed off to the chosen restaurant for further festivities.

A big thanks to FB for taking on another task for our group

On On!


When and Where is the next One?

HARES: ‘No Satisfaction’ and ´Pilchard’

WHEN: Sunday, 14 November, 2021 Meet 10:00 for 10:30

WHERE: ‘Parc Vigier’ entrance

21-23, Blvd. Franck Pilatte,

06300 Nice, France


This 3 word address refers to an exact 3m x 3m location. Tap the link or enter the 3 words into the free what3words app to find it.


‘Pogue Mahone’ Trail Factor:

The fact is ‘Pogue Mahone’ might go straight to the restaurant


At least ‘39 Steps’  x ‘N’ x ‘what goes up must come down up’ – with mostly bannisters

Run. :  Definitely a run

Scenic trails with points of cultural interest – and a bit of a groove.
The first half is more like two/thirds of the trail.

Both trails scrutinised and audited by our ´Military Logistics and Welfare Task Force’.


‘Park Vigier’ is situated between  ‘Le San Juan’, our restaurant, and
the ‘Club Nautique’ on ‘Boulevard Franck Pilatte,

Parking on road and in side-streets is free on Sundays

Or, if you prefer:

Car-parks:  10 mins walk from starting point and reasonably priced
On western side of the Port
– Parking du Phare – opposite war memorial.
– Parking Lympia – underground in digue

Or, take the (red) Tram number ‘2’ which runs from the airport and the last stop is Nice Port (‘Port Lympia’).
Then walk 5 minutes.

By car:

There are many routes to the starting point and it is probably best you look up your own route to get to the  eastern side of the of Nice Port.
A turn off either ‘Rue Arson’  or ‘ Boulevard Stalingrad’,  will lead round the Eastern side port and along into ‘Boulevard Franck Pilatte’.

‘Boulevard Franck Pilatte’ is where the ‘Corsica Ferries’ disembarks from Corsica.

If coming along ‘Promenade des Anglais’, from Antibes’, you are now forced to turn into ‘Boulevard Jean Jaures’ and follow the (clear) sign posts to the Port.


We dine at ´Le San Juan, 7, Boulevard Franck Pilatte, 06300 Nice, around 13:30.


A choice of meat or fish,  plus dessert, one glass of wine and a coffee.

All yours for 25 euros (as in 2017)

See you there?
´On On’
No Satz and Pilchard



When and Where is the next One?

Riviera Hash House Harriers Run 961 on Sunday 31st October

Meet at 10h00 for 10h30 in Fontanette parking at the foot of Biot village

Jobsworth and No Satisfaction’s Halloween Horrors

It’s Halloween and the clocks will go back by one hour on Sunday morning so you will have the treat of an extra hour in bed followed by a trail in the haunted forest around Biot.

Where :              Fontanette Car Park at the foot of Biot Village

When :               10h00 for 1030

OnOn :               Le Piccolo, Biot Village (as used for the AGPU).


What3Words ///reuse.changer.palace (English)

                           ///hangar.formatrice.crémeuse (French)

Coming from the A8 – Exit 44 towards Antibes & Sophia Antipolis. Follow the signs for D535 towards Sophia Antipolis. Once away from the A8 gyratory system, take the D535 dual carriageway uphill over several roundabouts until you reach “Carrefour des Chappes”. Turn right here onto the D504 “Route des Colles”. Follow this road as it squiggles all the way down the hill. Once at the bottom, turn left for 200 metres (Biot village will be directly in front of you). Turn right 200 metres later onto Chemin de la Fontanette. Park in the big car park.

Coming from Valbonne and beyond – In Valbonne, take the D4 “Route de Biot”. Follow all the way until you reach Biot village. The road will turn downhill sharp right and, about 200 metres later, sharp left, with the village to your left. Turn right at the traffic lights onto “Route d’Antibes”. Continue straight for 400 metres and turn left into Chemin de la Fontanette just after L’Ovive restaurant.

HHHealth and Safety

To remind you of the Pogue MaH’ometer assessment for Sunday:

Length of trail 3/5 (scored very objectively by me)

Difficulty of trail IF dry 3/5 (see above)

Difficulty of trail if wet a slippery 3/5 on condition that you bring appropriate shoes (no flip flops, except, for Philippe F-lop who is always welcome) and poles.

Difficulty if you don’t follow the advice “I told you so/5”

Difficulty of ascent – This is the Riviera. Go to Holland if you want a flat hash.

As it will be Halloween, please provide your own garlic, incense and wooden stakes to ward off bad spirits.

Prizes of out of date crisps and that beer nobody wants to drink for the best dressed Halloween hashers.

A halloween costume suggestion than nobody should be seen in from our favorite Canadian racist!

When and Where is the next One?

You talk like Marlene Dietrich
And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire
Your clothes are all made by Balmain
And there's diamonds and pearls in your hair
When you go on your summer vacation
You go to…
Maganosc, Bargemon, not just Juan les Pins!

Next Hash – Run 960 Bargemon 10:00 for 10:30 start

H3 Trail Invitation
Hash 960, 17 Oct 2021
Where Next my Lovelies?

Hares: Pullit & Lonely  

And next up on Riviera Hash bucket list of dreams is Bargemon, medieval town tucked beneath cyclists’ challenge Col de Bel’homme. Don’t worry we won’t climb as high as the goats (though you may distantly smell the billies!)

Are you looking at my Nannies?

Our trails for runners & walkers will start in the town. Walkers will be ferried by car out of town to synchronise our meeting at drinkstop from a recently constructed point du vue. A few runners will be asked to carry minimal refreshment, we meet for the company & view (poles could be useful). We return to the car park for circle then lunch in the town centre, 2pm.

Our Lunch venue not our Car Park!

START 10 for 10:30am at Car Park near village centre, Bargemon 83830, to be confirmed according to numbers.  

Directions: Head for main church in the town, Eglise Saint-Etienne either on D25 (via Callas) or D55 (via Clavier)

If you want to eat lunch, you must confirm by noon on Friday 15th Oct, so restaurant can shop for us before weekend.

This is absolutely NOT Pullit taking her dog for a walk….

When and Where is the next One?

Next Hash – Run 959 – Bois de Gourdon Pre Du Lac 10:00 for 10:30 start

Hashy birthday Iron Lady!

Hare: Buns the KILLER HARE!!!

Octoberfest is upon us!

Put on your best dirndls on  and your tight lederhosen and we’ll party the afternoon away in our Italian themed french run restaurant to celebrate a German drinking tradition?!

Let’s gather at 10:00 for a 10:30 start at the Bois de Gourdon off the D3 (before Gourdon)

Lunch will again be at the very popular Capriccio Restaurant. Fixed menu (with a degree of flexibility. Yes SMT we will have a vegetarian option for you!

I need to have everyone who plans to dine with us to let me know if they will dine with us so I can prepare the restaurant.

If you are going to the restaurant after the hash, Please respond by email to: inordahlnc@gmail.com

To get to the run site and the restaurant:

We have a couple of options. As the parking area at the run start point isn’t huge, carpooling from Pre du lac, where the restaurant is located is a good option. It’s up to you and your friends to organize this.

A) meet at or near the Capriccio restaurant for parking, and then carpool up to the starting point at the Bois de Gourdon

What Three Words for the Capriccio restaurant – drowsing.condoned.exhaustion

B) Meet at the Bois de Bourdon for the start of the run

Sorry for the last minute change of run Location, but due to the presence of a large hunting group, we were forced to find new territory to avoid being shot! Our new starting location has been used by me in previous hashes, so many of you will be familiar with this location.

The What Three Word is:

It is located just south of the Pre Du lac Post office.

Another reference point is it is across the street on a side lane from the Costamanga in Pre Du Lac.

This is very close to the the Capriccio restaurant, so we could leave our cars here and walk to the restaurant if you choose.

To get there from Antibes…

follow the road to Biot, Valbonne, on the D3 go via Opio and then direction Chateauneuf (Pre du Lac) the Costamagna is on your right.

At this roundabout take the 3 exit (heading back south and you will see the post office veer right on the small back road to the parking area.

From Nice…

take the A8, and exit at Villeneuve-Loubet, stay right and follow the D2085 through Roquefort les Pins and Le Rouret. When you get to Pre Du Lac, take the 4th exit (heading south) towards the post office, take the first exit and veer right onto the small back road to the parking area.

10:00 gathering for 10:30 start

Thanks, Buns/Ingrid 06 82 11 80 78

Please make sure you email me if you intend to eat at the restaurant.

Look forward to seeing all our friends in their worst German attire to celebrate Octoberfest!


If you have any questions or get lost en route. My number is: 06 82 11 80 78

OnOn! Buns (Ingrid)

Walkers Report #958 – No Satisfaction, Pilchard and the Belle Epoque!

Hares: No Satisfaction And Pilchard

Run report  958 a walker’s  view

the version with pictures is Here

‘Where do you go to my Lovelies?’ asks Peter Sarstedt.

Well it depends on your SatNav- mine took me round in a couple of circles before arriving  at the designated meeting point in Juan les Pins. Undoubtedly the what3words   realness.difficult.atoning was  the appropriate reference if you were trying to find a parking space.

Trying to find  a good  what3 words square is always interesting- would  overheating. sweat.conditioning  nearby  have been  off putting? Or silliness.descriptions.longish  been  accurate?

We set off down avenue Notre Dame, a road lined on both sides by huge old olive trees- was this once an olive orchard? But then  I couldn’t remember whether I had locked my car  so I set off back to check. Of course it was locked;  so now I had to catch up, hoping that  it would be easy to follow the trail and catch the group.

There is a public WC  at the edge of the Pinede, which is a useful thing to remember, so I took advantage of this and on coming out I met Fairy Plunger. He  was looking lost and had been late  for the start due to a drive up to Tourrettes sur Loup to search for his  phone which it turned out he  had dropped inside his vehicle. So we both had to look for the trail as by now the walkers group must be miles ahead. Arrows pointed down to the path along the sea edge. We went through a very nice  restaurant; I bet it was a bit too close to the water’s edge when the wind got up  at lunchtime.Then further along the path there were sun worshippers  getting  top-ups to their tanned bodies. Now it is questionable whether you should look towards  them- will they be the beautiful female bodies and the handsome Adonises? or will they be  tubs of lard lounging like overweight seals.  Best not to stare. Chalk marks and flour  were easy to follow until we got to  the boatyard where the trail could not be seen; but then we got back to the road and I noticed an arrow up the Chemin du Crouton.

Markings here were easy to follow. Although we were passing  many  expensive villas  there is little visible of what must be behind the walls. Only a villa called Mistinguett   had a very fancy gateway- no plaque on the road to say that Mistinguett lived here- she was apparently a famous music hall dancer known for her legs- she must have revealed a couple of inches above her ankles  and driven men mad. One of the most famous villas on the Cap D’Antibes was the Villa America owned by Gerald and Sara Murphy in the Twenties but the villa itself was  rather unprepossessing- fame came from the parties and the guests who came.

‘To The Lighthouse’ is almost the motto of a hash set by No Satisfaction. Fairy Plunger didn’t think we were anywhere near the lighthouse, but there it was ahead of us. The way up  was to follow the Chemin du Calvaire , a rocky penitential path leading up to the chapel of the Garoupe. In July each year there is a procession  bearing a statue from the cathedral in the old town of Antibes to the chapel so the last bit up the hill must be difficult  as the path would not pass any health and safety regulations.. As Fairy Plunger and I got there, hoping for the beerstop, the walkers group was  preparing to leave as there had just  had a shopping break at all the stalls around the Chapel. No Satisfaction said that the beerstop was   just down the hill. So we continued down and soon we were at the main road  by the beach. The road is Boulevard du Bacon but I have no idea  whether the road is named after Francis Bacon, ( a 13th century philosopher and Franciscan friar), Roger Bacon ( a philosopher and adviser to Elizabth I and James I ) or Francis Bacon ( a recent painter known for  particularly tortuous portraits of popes). None of these I suspect.  There is a Restaurant de Bacon which you would hope  specialises in bacon sandwiches for all the walkers and joggers going round the Cap, but I don’t think you could get a BLT there. The recent trip advisor comments are not very favourable.

More to the point was the beer stop on the other side of the wall from the road. Farty Bum had not been warned to supply bacon flavoured crisps but the beer and crisps and chocolate! were most welcome. It was a delightful spot  with views to the old town of Antibes and the baie des Anges, with great views of a sailing regatta where the boats were heeling over beautifully in the offshore wind which had developed.

After the beerstop photos we started back. I thought I was following  the group but apparently not- I was the only walker to do the trail back which went through a path through the woods after a couple of tricky paths. No Satisfaction had devised a shortcut for the walkers group who were all back at the start by the time I got there.

RUN Report #955 – Sadist, Pilchard and the Alien Invasion of Vence!

Hares: Sadist And Pilchard

Starting in the depths of the forests of Vence, outside a cemetery, our rather small group gathered for another sizzling Hash run/walk.

Our hares, Sadist guiding the walkers and Pilchard attempting to guide the walkers set out on a twisty falsie filled event. 

Under the careful scrutiny of the pompiers, we set off into the tinderbox of the forest.

Smelly Poo immediately showed her form and left all the other runners in her dust. As we encountered a tricky check with numerous possibilities a gracious Pilchard subtly indicated the correct direction, or we would have been there for an hour or so looking for the trail. On on and and away to the next check. Buns, headstrong, assumed incorrectly a lazy falsie, and Pilchard was again enlisted to shepard her back to the pack. Eventually the runners and walkers briefly met up and then we staggered uphill out of the shade of the forest, into the shimmering heat of city roads. 

Here we were stunned by and alien space ship, but no worries, we all ran so fast the none of us were probed!

The Aline craft was spotted, despite its camouflage

After that terrifying encounter off we went on a perpetual uphill until we realised we weren’t on trail. A mystifying semi covered blob of flour sent us up and up until we realised we were running blind. After consulting with Pilchard, we finally encountered the real trail and we chugging along until we encountered the great pumpkin patch

A pod that will be a human clone was growing near the ship.

As there was no sign of Charlie Brown or Linus, off we trudged under the glowering Baou of Vence. Here we sighted a Mansion perfectly situated to make us all feel inadequate. Oh well, we should, as Hashers, be used to this feeling.

The Alien base, disguised as a luxury mansion.

We finally encountered the walkers again, and soon saw the blessed oasis of the beer check. Situated on a busy roundabout with Giraffes overlooking the puzzled drivers, we greedily poured the beers down our parched throats. Pilchard was so out of it he mistakenly guzzled a non-alcoholic beer, and produced some disgusting sound to indicate his disgust. 

The walkers and runners, now nourished, proceed on their way with slightly changed numbers as Buns faded into a walker.

A nice ramble back into the woods finally led us back past the vigilant pompiers, where we circled up and assessed the run/walk

The Aliens who have taken over the bodies of Hashers

I can’t remember all the down downs, but it seem to me that Buns had apparently committed numerous infractions.

We finally brought out chairs and meals and enjoyed a picnic. Pre-stressed kindly brought along some shrimp salad to share (as well and the always appreciated gin and tonics)

Iron Lady also brought a couple or desserts for all to enjoy.

Another successful hash cums to and end!

When and Where is the next One?

This week, your HARES ‘No Satisfaction’ and ‘Pilchard’ invite you for an outing in the area of Juan les Pins.

Our HASH coincides with the ‘European Heritage Weekend’  so thanks to be respectful when charging around any cherished cultural sites.

When: Sunday 19, September, 2021

Time:   10:00 for  10:30

Where: The park next to ‘Chateau de la Pinede’,

15, Avenue Edmond d’Esclevin
016160 Juan les Pins

On-In:  Lunch 13:30

L’Escale Restaurant, 8, Bd. Edouard Baudoin, 06160 Juan les Pins


Price: 25 euros

Starter/main-course, large glass of wine. 
There is a vegetarian option

The restaurant is walking distance from our starting point, so  no need to move your car.

Interested??? Of course you are and to get swept back in time.. see below!

‘Where do you go to, my Lovelies?’ (Quote: Peter Sarstedt 1969)


What three words:


If you don’t use the ‘What 3 Words’ app – then try these instructions – at your peril:

From Autoroute 8, Exit  ‘44’
Follow the signs to ‘Juan les Pins’ (D35 bis), green signs.

At the ‘Rondpoint Antibes les Pins’ (with McDonald’s on your right) –
turn left towards ‘Juan les Pins’ (white sign) along ‘Avenue de Cannes’
After ca 3 km, the road splits and there is no sign post, but bear right into ‘Bd Raymond Poincare’ towards Juan centre.

Keep on this road ca 2 km then turn right into ‘avenue Admiral Courbet’ following signs to ‘centre ville’, ‘Palais de Congres’ and ‘Office du Tourisme’.

At the roundabout turn left onto the sea road ‘Avenue Guy de Maupassant’.

If you follow the signs to ‘Palais de Congres’ and the ‘Office du Tourisme’ you will notice the road becomes ‘Bd du Président Wilson’, then right into ‘Bd Baptistin Ardisson’

At the roundabout in front of the big new ‘Palais de Congres’ turn left into ‘Chemin des Sables’ then after ca 200 m, right into ‘Avenue Edmond d’Esclevin’.

Find the chateau, at number 15 on your left, see the park entrance and park anywhere in that street or the next left, ‘Rue Albany’.

We start quite early, so there should be parking spaces.  Generally parking on the pavements is tolerated here, if you leave some space for pedestrians to pass.

Hope to see you there!

No Satisfaction + Pilchard

Mobile: 0617401343